i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
