But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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