I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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