Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
