You're so nebulous sometimes
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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