shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
