I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
