butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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