So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
