"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My ATM looks so different sober.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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