I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
