Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
