Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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