pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
