FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
