R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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