I want to have your abortion
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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