do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Randomize
