The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
