You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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