I bet he comes in French.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
