is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
