your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
