She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
There's even glitter on my cock...
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