How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
