i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
