sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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