I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
