you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
