I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
