Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
