Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
