don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
