We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
