normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
