I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
