i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
How does one acquire holy water?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
