It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Still dying that you shit outside
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
my nose is crying tears of wow.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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