Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
organizing the empties. That sober.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
