You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
