he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
