I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
either way he was missing a nipple.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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