I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
