I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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