3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
