I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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