I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
