i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
