so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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