high people should be assigned attendants
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
